As someone who wears scrubs almost daily for work, I have a personal philosophy:

GREEN PEPPERS ARE GOOD, SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH, DREW.

“I get a lot of emails from people about how gross farting the shower is...”

I’ve gotta figure that the immortal phrase “blowing on my kid's scrod" has triggered more than a few corporate internet filters.

“Four cities are already lobbying to host the 2024 Games (LA being one of them).”

Fun story about President’s and the White House chef. The kitchen is also responsible for the President’s drink orders (or at least used to be). When Harry Truman moved into the White House after the death of FDR, he and his wife would order Old Fashioneds each evening; invariably, the kitchen staff would find a note…

Regarding the coffee in the bathroom, don’t forget when the toilet is flushed, a microscopic bit of what was in the bowl is sprayed into the air.

I used to assume anyone in scrubs was an important medical professional (surgeon, nurse, baby-deliverer, etc.). Then I found out the “nurse” that comes to our church is really just a vet tech at an animal hospital. I no longer see scrubs as a marker for importance/status.

Drew Carey was the perfect pick for The Price is Right. Whoever made that decision knew what they were doing.

I have a friend who sells surgical equipment, so often he’s required to be in the operating room with doctors, and I’ve seen him several times at the grocery store at the end of the day in full scrubs, and I think he should be required to tell people he’s not a doctor every time he wears that shit out in public,…

You wouldn’t. CTE’s a bitch, isn’t it Kluwe!??

OK, so part of me thought that this is somewhat valid because if your kid is pulling straight As but is also a jerk, then you should be aware of that and talk to your kid blah blah. But the fact that he interrupted the teacher - who he would probably REAM for not doing her damn job if his kids weren’t doing well - in…

Also former baseball guy. One season we had a coach who also brought his kid with him to the ballpark every single day (he was a single dad).

“Am I BLOWING YOUR FUCKING MIND with this drivel? I mean a fundie, hunting conservative baseball player??? WHAT????!!???”

I don’t want to click the article, so can someone tell me: are lines like “Do you get it?” delivered as one-sentence paragraphs, intended to thereby be dripping with even more meaning than all the meaning that the author is so confident is already in those four simple words? Because ESPN really likes to do that.

How about Keown interview someone from child protective services and have them explain why LaRoche isn’t being investigated for child neglect for having his kid at “work” with him all day. If his name was Lawanda and he was taking his child to work at a factory this shit wouldn’t last a week.

“The appeal of the rescue is that it’s a happy ending,” says Janie Chuang without the slightest touch of irony.

Makes it a lot easier to walk away after he hit like a sick nun last season.

I personally like the psychological approach of challenging the readers [sic] with repeated “Are you MAN enough to believe what I’m TYPING?” interludes

Tim Keown’s writing style makes you wonder what percentage of his readers are literate.