Just wait until Cyborg Jagr at age 65 beats Gretzky’s record.

He is stupid. Literally he is very very stupid. That is why.

Rams are giving up 6.9 yards per plays to the Saints.

I needed that cry so much.

You have a real 1 step forward, 3 steps back approach to Kinja.

Lyndon B. Johnson: Hey, it looks like early results have Nixon ahead.

It normally airs on ESPN first most days but is re-run an hour later on ESPN 2. However, the initial broadcast gets bumped to ESPN 2 fairly often. I’d imagine a lot of viewers don’t realize it comes on regular ESPN at 5:00.

Some perspective on how historic this is:

If you’d like I’d be willing to tell you the niners are complete mess (front to back). Just because you have explosive diarrhea doesn’t mean you don’t notice when someone else farts in the elevator.

If you’re about to be executed, stall for as long as humanly possible, because you never know when a dragon is going to show up.

Although I appreciate the Raiders’ team getting together to give an object lesson in how “zero tolerance policies” inevitably play out, this was a bit too on the nose.

Al Davis in hell right now

Give yourself some credit. Mark Sanchez isn’t smarter than you.

Take your star, you jerk.

“I’ve never withdrawn in my life” Grooooossssssss

KG talking to the basketball on live tv after making the Finals for the first time is my favorite athlete moment of all time. That’s the point when I knew for sure that it was all genuine, and he is just fucking crazy.

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”