Because I'm lazy, here's twenty things the world would have to do without if Americans hadn't invented them. Assign them to the corners as you see fit.

Ask him to come on Jalopnik for a live answer session and let us ask him all of these ridiculous questions ourselves.

That's a pretty stellar recommendation. What kind of phones have you used in the past? Like I said, I'm coming from a Galaxy Nexus and before that my regular device was an OG Droid, so I have little to no patience for bloatware and skins that bog down a device.

By the way, I used Amazon's live chat thing to speak to someone on their end. She said that the promo would go on until they ran out of stock. Take what you will from that.

Thanks for trying to get my request a little exposure, dude. I'm probably going to hit up a Verizon store tonight after work but I'd still like to hear from people who've lived with the device for a while.

Anyone know how long that Moto X deal will last? I'm considering upgrading from my Galaxy Nexus but I haven't played with a Moto X yet so I don't know if I want to do it.

We're totally on the same train of thought.

Fuck.

Absolutely, completely, preternaturally spot on, Raph.

Would I be missing the point if I brought up the fact that nearly every car ever made looks better in black?

The Buick will be auctioned off in New York at the end of November. I'll be shocked — shocked! — if it doesn't sell for some astronomical price when it does.

Of those on your list I've used HUD and Now and found Now to be pretty usable after altering the homescreen icons a bit. HUD looks neat but takes enough getting use to that I eventually moved on to something else. Currently I'm using Canvas and it's pretty slick.

SUDDENLY IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

I don't know why I didn't include that one...

I saw that, but decided not to list it since he's on screen for long enough for anyone who watches the show to recognize him. Brett's bit was pretty fleeting.

In an effort to quantify just how much effort they put into this promo, here's a list of references that I noticed in the video:

Seriously, anyone who doesn't watch Archer and sees this and doesn't think, "Maybe I ought to give that show a shot." is dead inside or allergic to fun.

He had all the details correct down to a T... except one.

I should clarify for those who can't follow the AHK code. My AHK function will:

Generally, no. And technically the tilde is Shift+` so I can still use the ~ character if I need to.