I’m not saying you should grab your MIL’s nipples and give them a good working over while staring directly at her and hissing “I REALLY FEEL WE’RE BONDING” but...I’m not not saying that.

Yaaassss this my MOMENT y'all! I love a trashy scandal and I LOVE A MOTHERFUCKING LIFETIME MOVIE!!!

No. 

I bet a racist paper in the UK will headline “Meghan returns to her roots!”

BUT WILL THEY BE FLYING COMMERCIAL?!

I would pay to see that in theaters.

“Also delightful is how the moms in this lightly fictionalized retelling are honestly so aghast at the stupidity of their progeny.”

Your honor, I know that I portrayed myself in the movie doing the thing I am accused of but I didn’t actually do the thing I’m accused of, I just played the part for the paycheck I need to defend myself against the accusations that I did the thing I did in the movie in real life.

It has Jenny from the L-Word as Aunt Becky. It’s already perfect.

It would have been so much more meta if one of them had been a frequent Lifetime movie star.

But...by the end of her reign she no longer was having an affair with Potemkin. He was very wily and kept himself close to her side by steering beautiful young (adult) men her way, knowing she rewarded them with manors and serfs (and taking a cut from said grateful young men.) He knew she’d tire of him sexually so he…

For those film fans who are interested, two great Catherines - both worth seeing; both very high style - were Marlene Dietrich in The Scarlet Empress and Elisabeth Bergner in The Rise of Catherine the Great (both 1934).

I revered the poet Adrienne Rich for decades and my BFF took me to hear her read and speak at a fancy thing in Kansas City years ago. She was obviously bored and annoyed during the meet & greet and signing and while I can laugh it off, it was odd to have this giant of a woman/poet become just another underwhelming…

The unexpected personal touch I added to my look today was dog hair and spilled oatmeal :p

How lovely. :) 

Just so I’m clear: you think my friends are domestic abusers/criminals? Seriously that’s your argument? That they can’t pass a background check?

“Betty White’s rumored pregnancy shocker. It’s TWINS!”

Fair enough! I just liked the consonance of “tits on a stick.” 

This reaction is completely hysterical and irrational.  If your reaction to the loss of a rifle is violent insurrection, that’s not exactly a solid argument to let you keep your firearm.  

You can pry my post-Labor Day white suit from my cold, dead hands!