Kim Davis chic

Further proof of Trump being a Clinton stooge. Get Oliver Stone on the horn!

Strap in and strap on?

Avatar change?

Also...

If Bill’s been on the plane that’s guaranteed.

Indeed. Also 7 arrests at 15 years of age? These girls have been pushing their luck, and it just happened that their luck ran out that night.

If I buy my gal a ring for $21k (AAAAACK), she'd better be able to summon Captain Planet with that thing.

The most notable thing to ever happen in her life. That’s just sad, but hey she played into it back in the day. Still does when she needs any extra press. So keep on keeping on I guess.

I’m good.

How is Mac Miller?

I can only imagine how glorious the song titles will be on an album called “If I’m Honest”. Can’t wait for songs like “Fuck You, Miranda” and “I Love Gwen” to be this summer’s biggest hits.

I’m just going to come out and say it...

Weird, because she’s my neighbor who breaks into my house and does quirky things for the sake of being quirky. Is your name Hannah? Because if it is please come get your partner for the last damn time, I’m considering a restraining order now that she put my ailing grandfather on Craigslit under GILF’s. Honestly it…

She vowed she’d never eat another taco until she could make them out of angie’s tongue?

I credit MapQuest with enabling me to get the hell out of Texas. Apparently I could not read actual maps and so was stuck there for years, now live in the Pacific Northwest. True story.

And yet they never taught us how to fold them. #thestrugglewasreal

Sit by the fire, my child, and let me tell you the terrible tales of the great taco famine of aught six.

“We give each other compliments. He’ll say, “You look beautiful,” or “That looks great.” Or I’ll say, “I don’t know about this outfit,” and he’ll say, “No let’s change that.” And I’ll absolutely say to him, “You know what? No T-shirts.” [Laughs]