According to him though, he totally didn’t get owned, you got owned, you and your mother both did! HE SHIT HIS PANTS ON PURPOSE!!!

That’s how the movie ends. Spider to the face and a cut to black. Roll credits.

.......Like a face hugger from the Alien movies........

Oh, God. No.

In 1989, my godmother was taking a shower, when she looked up and saw a huntsman spider roughly the size of a dinner plate right above her head. She thought, ‘no worries, I will just calmly and quietly finish up this shower before he has a chance to move.’ Right at that moment, the Newcastle earthquake stuck, rattling…

Guys.

For those not old enough to remember, believe me when I tell you: This crime spree (including but not limited to the Versace murder), was the CRAZIEST thing at the time! It went on for weeks and weeks and back then, it was like the weirdest, most bizarre thing you could imagine. Everybody I knew was RIVETED!

Mel used to beautiful. On the outside, anyway.

I’m pretty sure he’s not even the sexiest Blake Shelton alive.

Blake Shelton is the SEXIEST MAN OF 2017

The real reason that Nico and Bethany are not welcome at family functions is probably because everyone is sick of hearing about how enlightened, totally not jealous, and liberating their relationship is.

Every time I read about an over 40 yo male actor wanting to have kids, I think of all of the age-appropriate men on OK Cupid, etc. who would not consider my profile because I was not at an optimal babymaking age. And then I think of the known correlation between autism and older fathers, which I think is very…

I’d watch and/or read this.

Also, isn’t this how Catwoman started? I would totally be down for an elderly Japanese grandma becoming Catwoman. She tries to knit, but she keeps getting distracted and batting the balls of yarn around. She knocks the figurines her grandkids get her off the shelves for no reason. She takes long naps, wakes up, moves…

Oh I think she has her next meal planned...

This year in gif form:

It saddened me to see so many people commenting in the other story that they don’t believe Takei’s accuser, even when they believe accusers in other cases.

Ivanka is flotus.

My genuine reaction every time I’m confronted with the fact Melania is FLOTUS:

I’m sorry, I cannot. Do with that what you will.