If you are waiting for your table, and you know that they are going to let you know that is ready using a text, then your job as a grownup is to pay attention to your phone. “And that’s if I even have my phone with me, and it hasn’t gone flat.” What the hell are you talking about? Who goes out for dinner, knowing that…

You are hoping that Alec Baldwin commits suicide over something that wasn’t his fault? If the universe does work in extraordinary ways, I’m hoping that wish comes back on you. 

Do you actually know how films work? She was crucial from both a plot standpoint (tension of the audience assuming she would be killed) and theme (her career ascending as Dalton’s career burned out.

He looks like Terry Gilliam’s Jailer character from Life of Brian. “I want it, if you want it.”

To conclude that Elway doesn’t draft QBs well, one does not need to make shit up. The Manning signing was the most important free agent signing in the history of the Broncos franchise. 

Ignoring Manning’s 2012-2014 seasons? Brainless. 

So you decided you hated him when he was still in college, and CBS is the one fitting facts to a narrative? Suck a dick, Drew.

Congratulations! You won the Internet today!

Ottawa just started doing *everything* in 2014. They are a second-year expansion team.