Better Idea: Put the Goose in Smash - as an assist trophy; summon the goose and he’ll go around stealing items off of your opponents and they’ll have to catch him before he drops the item off the stage. You’re welcome.

You got a problem with gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.

At major racetracks the horses live better lives than the people who are caring for them.

Yeah, this is part of it. CNN and Trump scratch each other’s backs. I’m convinced Trump rails on CNN specifically because he knows they’ll continue to cover him breathlessly as long as he does so (and because his crowds eat it up). I’m not saying there’s some shady conspiracy here, but CNN exists to make money for…

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Butt-Sliding to victory.

No idea if this is at least 800 pixels cos it’s on my phone, but ah well here ya go! 

I’m surprised they’re killing off the double decker taco, but I guess their numbers say otherwise.

I fucking hate him with the intensity of a billion white hot suns.

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet ‘til you die
From your first Keurig cup
To your last pizza pie.

When you’re a Jet,
You can eat on the can,
“You good?” to the wife,
You’re a family man.

You’re never alone,
You’re never intercepted.
You’re home on your phone—
When sleep is expected,
You’re well connected!

Then on the set
Of the…

Boris Johnson’s favorite part about EuroLeague basketball is watching Europeans get punished for traveling

OH YEAH

Can we just not give this guy the attention he apparently so badly craves?

Can I give you a negative star for that cold take ?

Or as he calls New Jersey: The Fifth Borough. 

Not sure if the same applies to Kyoto, but I know in my few trips to Tokyo, the rudest tourists I noticed were Non-Japanese Asian Tourists. I can tell the difference, and I believe it’s the Chinese that always ended up doing something incredible rude, pushy, and self centered. A prime example would be, when I would be…

Petition to call people Magikarps more often

This reminds me of what my father used to tell me about good sportsmanship... “Don’t be such a baby. I’ll make it to the next game.”

The Truth Initiative (as it’s now known) came about by the Florida Tobacco Program, which was part of Florida’s Department of Health. It’s a non-profit with a government origin, funded by the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement. It’s not an arm of the tobacco industry; it is simply funded by it as a the result of MSA.

Gene Simmons is also just as sweet as he is talented.