Or nah.

fighting on Twitter is like fighting via Morse code

I kept scrolling and it wouldn’t stop. Thought maybe I was dead and in purgatory.

There will be no comments as most of us do not have the stamina or finger strength to get to replies. So I stopped in the middle, ran to the store, and I am now soaking my sore mousefinger in this.

Ricky Gervais had the best response to this non story:

I doubt Amy is buying cheap clothes, but some stores tend to sell slightly bigger clothes with a smaller number attached to it because studies show a woman will be happier with her purchase.

Um, to me the Queen looks like she’s getting ready to do a cartwheel or a handstand. The palace should have probably gone with that...

What do you think of the new season? Fellow is visiting, and we watched the first three episodes. It was rough seeing him return to his depressive status quo but made sense, I suppose.

BORING.

And you are already awake and alive in the world? I am impressed. After a night spent with whiskey I lay in bed and whine like the wee little girl I am, wondering why no one loves me enough to bring me burritos.

Same, man.

Wait. Beetlejuice isn't a motivational film?

Don’t take it from me, but I hear that Donald Trump has a fetish for German circus clowns feeding him shark fin soup that he has dipped his own feet in while wearing his socks, and chanting “Beetlejuice!” Heard it from a reliable source.

I will unconditionally believe every single word about this man. If someone writes in to say he has a fetish for German circus clowns, I will believe it. If another person writes in to say that Trump makes his employees watch Beetlejuice once a year for motivational purposes, I will believe it. If someone details the…

This isn’t funny at all. You don’t do this shit.

whenever i go to Applebees i try not to order Whole Porcupine á la Mode; you should do the same

Pretty sure this is what happened to me that time I ate at Applebee's.

Yeah I’m not always the biggest T Swift fan but she seems completely right here. If Apple wants to lure people in with a free trial, which is a totally standard marketing move, it’s on them to pay for it as part of their promotion costs. A hotel offering a free night’s stay to new visitors wouldn’t be able to forgo…

I was reading about this earlier. This is the part that got me: