Dope Tricks

This school has them and has drills. But at the end of the day if someone comes in with a gun and starts shooting...what can you do? The guy who planned it had it figured out. He pulled the fire alarm. As the students filed out...he picked them off.

As much as I like to shit on teenagers on this site, the kids are alright. It’s the adults that are failing us.

Living your best life, drinking some pulled pork smoothies for breakfast! 😉

I oppose any “wisdom” telling me to cease drinking beer and pulled pork.

the immortal words of Rob Stark

In the immortal words of Rob Stark, “stick em with the pointy end”.

What about thumbs? They’re naturally opposable.

how to kill someone with a knife

strike the infidels who oppose Allah in the neck

I think we know who’s going to be controlling the pile.

...then they can burn IKEA discards to power an H&M factory!

I’m also pretty concerned for that first carp model’s vulva being so close to sandy, fishy pond water. And without the natural protection of pubic hair! Yikes.

If that power goes to an IKEA factory, that’s Swedish power cubed!

In the post apocalyptic future, we won’t fight over silly things such as oil or water. He who controls the H&M controls the wasteland.

I always suspected H&M’s clothing didn’t have a primary purpose of being worn as clothing.

. . .I’ll let this pass this time. Do it again, and I swear I will whale on you.

Take your damn star(fish).

I cod not help but have my trouts, Kate. I f-eel like salmon is catfishing you.

I would love to submit the erotic carp calendar as evidence whenever people talk about the importance of good looks. Not saying that prettiness can’t make the world a nicer place (especially for women), but, whenever you feel bad about yourself, think about how there are women out there much prettier than you whose…