I think Jess is the role Lindsay Lohan was born to play. On the other hand, that casting is a little TOO obvious.

FAMILIES LIVE HERE!!!!!!

I really feel for Jess tho. I want her to get out of the life, mostly because she’s too stupid to be living it. Like how are you not going to know that as white girl the start rate is at least 1000? And how are you going to give the pimp the whole 5k? Zola tho? Watch she will be the beyonce of the trap game.

My fave line:

(Sarah Koenig voice) But what would a woman who fux with boy shorts and pasties... be doing on Backpage?

I also like that the hook into the story is why Zola and “this bitch here” fell out, because it implies that they had a longstanding friendship before this series of incidents took place but TWIST they’d only just met at a Hooters and bonded over their hoe tendencies! And then the plot escalates from there.

season 3 of serial

Everyone in Oregon must know that it has no sales tax, because that’s why there are so many cars with Washington plates in Portland mall parking lots. And since just about all of Oregon lives within shouting distance of PDX....

It says a lot when someone can say “the guy who literally stole from a delivery driver is actually a better human being than most of the shitty restaurant customers on BCO” and they’re probably right.

This is a surprisingly solid take!

You forgot the “YOU ABLEIST MONSTER” kicker at the end there.

We have people claiming that loudly butt-trumpeting in a crowded dining room is perfectly acceptable. I keep thinking nothing could surprise me...

“THE CHURCH IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE”

And I think he knew it was stupid and ridiculous too. He had more self awareness than the typical BCO hellspawn by a mile.

If that happened to me, I’d call the cops to get them out of my parking lot.

There’s a new commercial on Hulu for United Methodist Churches that says “Church can happen anywhere” ...that phrase really scares me for some reason...like I’m going to wake up in my house, go downstairs, and there’s church going on.... gives me the chills.

Say what you will about the pizza mugger, at least he was straightforward about taking money out of the driver’s pocket. He didn't come up with bullshit reasons to not leave a tip, he didn't put a waiter through an hour of hell and leave a buck, he didn't come in with a complex plan to scam free food that he used…

I believe I can speak for all of us when I say, “Fuck Church Groups”

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

Particularly given that there are plenty of other places where you can hold bible study. My college made rooms available even on weekends, you could go to someone’s house, you might even be able to convince someone in authority at a church to let you study the bible there.