Well yeah, usually when I'm eating crappy food I'm in a hurry anyway. Case in point, I'm eating bowl of oatmeal right now that I would be just as happy to stick in my stomach through a trap door. It's not really that good and I just have to go through the weird human motions of eating this stuff spoonful by spoonful…

What? That would be gone in five minutes with me. :(

Hey, sorry I'm not practicing the digestive kama sutra over at my table; that said, don't piss on my meal because I learned how to enjoy it at my speed.

I savor faster than you.

. . . there's only one type of valentine that's okay to hand to your special chum this year . . .

I get it, E.L. James' writing is so expressive and realistic that perhaps Christian Grey truly did come alive for you in your imagination.

If anybody owns it, it's probably the NFL.

Normal, healthy women look all kinds of different ways, from size 0 to size 24 and above.

...do you not go in the pool when you go swimming? I feel like you're missing an important activity.

Oh no, I agree that at this point in say, America, we shouldn't be concerned with placating dudes who hang out on internet forums, which is more the category I would put this guy in.

Fish bowl call-out meetings. Pre-sex conversations about boundaries. Bike swarms. If Portlandia ever does a "very special episode" I'd say the script is about 90% complete.

It is important to attract men to feminism in some contexts. In places where women have no power, you're going to have to appeal to a male power structure to advance.

Originally from Michigan, he strove for an anti-capitalist lifestyle, the pinnacles of which were his militant veganism and leadership in the biking community.

"Hart Noecker"?

People seem to always underestimate the human capacity for genuine hypocrisy.

I have one of those! It's a bit broken, dusty and... small... but it still counts, right?

I'm a pretty tall guy, so my legs tend to take up a bit more room than the average person on planes and trains, but I still make an effort to take up as little space as possible.

I solved that problem for two other women a few days ago. Some punk ass was manspreading all over the two person seat AND using the seat across from him for his backpack on a rush-hour train. So I just slid right in next to him, perhaps somewhat more forcefully than strictly required, and pushed him over with my own…

"[W]hom some had doubted would properly be able to lead him to victory because she is a woman."

People are still harping on manspreading.