Having never heard of “Brandon Allen”, I assume he is at least 7 feet tall and threw for more interceptions than touchdowns in college

You guys are awesome. It is not hyperbole to say that this site often gets me through the day. Keep up the good work, and for the love of god do not stick to sports.

You’re new around here, right?

“Baltimore resents DC all the time and D.C. isn’t even that cool.”

Because cocaine is famously unavailable in Miami. 

that particular wiper assembly is incredibly expensive and involved to replace and to install - i assume that when it went bad, it was simpler and more cost-effective to just replace the vehicle around it.

Betts is third behind Mets Mookie Wilson and Pearl Jam’s Mookie Blaylock

This hot take is about too many dashes and the conclusion is two kinds of dashes are OK?

LOL who gives a fuck

I stand (er, sit) corrected.

I’m gonna find me

You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

DREW I HELD MY POOP IN FOR WEEKS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK SO I CAN HAVE A GREAT MOMENT IN POOP HISTORY

ARE WE GETTING A SUPERBOWL JAMBOROO TOMORROW??!!!??!?!?!

EXCUSE ME BUT A DREW MAGARY POST IS HAPPENING NOW? THIS IS A GREAT DAY.

Not gonna lie. I now have no idea what actually happened.

the only reason these people are backing down is due to the fact that these dickheads look like their own kids. 

I’m guessing many 45-55 year olds bear scars on their legs and elbows to this day dating back to their childhoods riding one of those.

Yep. They painted themselves into a corner like nobody has before.

He’s working for John Elway. He’ll be available in mid-October. Or wish he was.