Marie didn’t include the awful tidbit of why they looked in the tank in the first place...

I WAS TOLD BY APPLECARE THAT I COULD WALK IN THE STORE AND GET THE PART.

I’m a hunter, and I know I always feel the proudest when I use bait to lure an animal that I have no intention of eating and that has become acclimated to being in the presence of people (which removes any sport in it) nominally outside a protected area for the sole purpose of counteracting the shame of my shockingly…

Ok. THIS is the Song of the Summer. Sorry, everybody else.

Imagine a Randilyn comment. Hold it in your head. Now call your friends and tell them they all have chlamydia.

You know what’s more terrible than the police not taking this case seriously?

hmmmmmmm

It’s uncanny, right?

I had an English teacher once who used to say "the guilty dog barks first." I tip my hat to him for giving me the perfect saying to encompass this situation.

Jay Smooth has one of the best responses to Rachel Dolezal that I have seen. Worth a watch:

The Front Page of the Courier-Post:

They couldn’t come up with a different name? They had to go with “Alex”?

Lifetime NPR listener here, and not a Kardashian fan, but the interview was seriously NBD. She was pretty charming, actually. When I read all the comments on NPR’s Facebook page I was pretty appalled. WWDTM has interviews like this all the time with celebrities of the moment.

i need kara to have a talk show where she tells internet people to fix their life

I almost accidentally sent that screencap to the Deadspin Slack room, sans context. I was trying to send it to Julianne.

YOU’RE ARE SO MISGUIDED THAT I DON’T EVEN THINK I CAN HELP YOU.

Poor Allen. Now he has to contend with Marks groupies.

No, it’s real.

He can Slytherin me any time.