Thank you. I’ve been saying this for years.

I know I’m being knit-picky, but does Javier Bardem not count??

But how is she supposed to eat her KitKat like the third Kardashian if there’s no wafer?!

Please screenshot and save this comment for posterity, because I guarantee this is what his eventual concession speech will sound like.

I feel similarly about my Discover Weekly! Every once in a while I get some good stuff, but usually it’s stuff I don’t care about. I also CAN NOT escape songs from Rupaul’s Drag Race queens! At the suggestion of this very website (Thanks, Jezebel Staff!) I listened to Anus by Alaska Thunderfuck ONE DAMN TIME and ever…

The title hasn’t been announced nor have the number of episodes.

I can and I do!

I, too, was confused by Rizzo and Kenickie’s exchange in the car as a young catholic boy. However, it took me a very very long time to realize that the thing that Kenickie was carrying around since the 7th grade was in fact a condom. I thought it was a ring. Like a wedding ring that he was going to give her so they…

Danny from NOLA was one of my earliest gay crushes.

Credit where it’s due: Fiorina did correctly state that emergency room visits are up since Obamacare was implemented.

Oh man, I can’t wait for Bradley Cooper to play Hugh White in the inevitable Hollywood adaptation of this moving story.

Yes, so adorable.

Literally came here to ask if this was actually true. Jesus H. Christ.

CLOCK ME, JIA.

My guess, if we’re going with the “Avery is innocent” theory, is that someone else murdered Theresa, the police found her body and her car at some point during the search, burned her body and planted the evidence. Even with the insane lengths the police department went to insure Steven went away again, I don’t see…

Jia, I love you for going so hard for Carly and for letting the world know about the Rae, the Truth and the Light, Amen. You’re truly the hero we deserve.

ngl, i’m a little upset that I didn’t know this was a thing. I can only imagine this level whining baby-ness was pure gold.

I’d prefer to be torn limb from limb. Also, fingers crossed my passing coincides with Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween celebration!

I found this on tumblr, but like yeah, same.

I’m just praying for a Paper Mario and yarn Yoshi skin. But I’m a simple man.