I’m so torn, I know what they’re doing to him is bullshit. But, I live in the middle-of-nowhere Northern New York - with limited opportunities to see pro sports - and I have tickets to see the Bisons play the Syracuse Mets on Monday. I HOPE that he is still with Buffalo.

Then I hope they call him up on Tuesday, which…

The one in St. Louis.

Goddammit, this is exactly the kind of situation that the unwritten rules were unwritten for.

Jesus, I’m a Sox fan. Let me have some fun.

At least the other one is reasonable: “Why don’t you just get him out?”. I don’t understand why baseball is the only sport where the other opponents doing well is offensive rather than motivation to do better.

You’re really running with this huh

Wait...wait one damned minute.

In defense of Jeter, he has slept with a lot of really hot women. 

Only three weeks into the season, Yelich has already set Brewers single season records for HRs (8) and RBIs (18) vs. the Cards.

Perhaps they will marry and join their last names to become General and Jizyah Booty-Shorts.

Well after they lost Fernandez what were they supposed to do, keep their young core of future MVP’s and perennial all-stars while trying to find pitching via trades and free agency like a bunch of morons?

I’m a sucker for the names with titles. Lionel Pimpin is infinitely better than Pix Butt. But is it better than Reverend Pix Butt?

That gives Yelich eight dingers in six games against the Cardinals, and at this point he should be given a role in the team’s front office.

Wrong again, Shildt. The definition of insanity is a bagel sliced like a loaf of bread.

So is Jizyah Shorts.

You forgot Plenty. Plenty O’Toole.

Jizyah Shorts might be a bridge too far for our General. 

I’m pulling hard for General booty today.

“Storm Duck could foul things up”

If Jizyah Shorts were just some twitter handle-esque name change, then meh. But the fact that it’s a real name (and a beauty queen!) makes it pretty unbeatable. Except for Pope Thrower, obviously.