This is very Terry Pratchett.

And the 50% comes from Rasmussen, which reliably gives him a much higher approval rating than any other place. FiveThirtyEight shows the average around 40%.

“I got an F!

That’s a Cards Against Humanity Card if ever I’ve seen one.

It’s a GOP Rectipede

“Rectal real estate” I think you have stumbled onto the perfect slogan for the state of Florida.

Either it’s a society without women, or a society in which women are rare (the mother character). Either way, hard pass.

I hope someone with a vaguely Eastern European accent at one point tells someone to “get Goose and girl.”

Life of Terrestrial vs Extraterrestrial origin makes more sense in the way I think you mean.

“I was so in love with Leia when I was a little girl,” she continued. “Those were my two fantasies: to be a woodland elf and to be Leia tied to Jabba the Hutt in her sexy bikini.”

If they had gone down that road (and thank god they didn’t) I could see it.

All these racist white men look the same, I saw that header image and I just sat there for a minute thinking “but I thought Jeff Sessions resigned?”.

As Virginia Senate Majority Leader Tommy Norment is a republican, it’s unlikely his party will ask him to resign. 

So there is no such thing as aliens. There are only uniquely adapted life forms.

Cool pics.  Is this the neverending expedition?

When I was working as a writing tutor at a college, this sort of writing was very encouraged. Students were often assigned to write essays about overcoming personal hardships. It was frustrating for the students who felt they had never faced much in the way of hardships. A Black student once had an assignment to write…

I think it means that way more species are self aware than we thought and also the mirror test is a shitty test and I don’t know why we are still using what is basically a subjective test in this age of science.