“Best of all, they are 100 percent water-free.”

Well sure, once you realize that...

Meanwhile, over on Instagram, Karen Gillan has gifted everyone with an epic battle between herself and her giant stuffed teddy bear. Seriously, it is hilariously adorable/adorably hilarious and I highly recommend you check it out. I guarantee it’ll brighten up your day.

Doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity or a non-celebrity, relationships imploding always sucks.

“Epstein told her, “he needed to have three orgasms a day. It was biological, like eating.”

“5. Something about me, I don’t know, feels important?”

“Mitch McConnell “tripped at home on his outside patio and suffered a fractured shoulder,” according to spokesman David Popp.”

“Patti Davis, the daughter of Ronald Reagan, wants you to know that her dad called black people “monkeys” but he was not racist, okay?”

So that’s why they changed their name to Panda American Express...

When reached for comment, the bug had this to say:

My fave Martin moment:

From a BBC article about the Moscow protests:

Maybe she meant “decent” as in “decent at his job”?

Hot!

Apathetic cowards.

It took me decades of hard work to perfect my public brooding, and I’m not going to ruin that by talking to strangers.

I think we’ve reached the point of mass work stoppages/general strikes. If we really are just cogs in their machine, then that gives us the power to bring the machine to a screeching halt until they get their shit together. And the time is now, while automation is still relatively patchy. We could even figure out a…

My question is at what point should we stop freaking out online and actually start genuinely doing everything we can to prevent the end of the world and the sociopaths hastening it? Because I’m ready and raring to go, I’m just waiting on everyone else (maybe that’s the problem, we’re all perpetually waiting for each…