Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and pass on this one, thanks. There are lots of other options that don’t mix candy and drugs.

What in the hell are you talking about?! John Oliver is a treasure!

I seldom wish violence on people. Very seldom.

Shhhh! You’re fucking with this site’s profit model!

Shhhh! You’re fucking with this site’s profit model!

First timer? Spend over $1000! Who cares if you hate it. You’ll have a ton of trick gear that will sit in your garage until you sell it for pennies on the dollar years later!

First timer? Spend over $1000! Who cares if you hate it. You’ll have a ton of trick gear that will sit in your…

Do you like apples? Well, the Blues won the Stanley Cup. How do you like them apples?

I’ve converted my old Volvo diesel to use the rich fat of oligarchs as fuel.

Two thirds of all gun deaths in the US are suicide, so no, it’s not possible. 

Unfortunately, gun owners are more likely to use one on themselves rather than in self defense. I think that was the implication you were missing.

Sounds to me like the other side should start doing the murdering!

Speaking of Panama, what ever happened to those Papers? Why aren’t we eating these people yet?

I know your headline uses proper grammar, but damn, it’s hard to read.

I always just sorta assumed he was.

I’m guessing they don’t want to spend a lot of money competing in an already crowded field filled with rivals who never gave up. 

Found the Apple fanboy!

Agreed. This was the ad that said, “it’s okay to be a pretentious hipster.”

That looks like a fun way to die.

It’s a joke related to OP’s username. 

If I see you do this, I will ridicule you for the rest of your life.

If they want this to sell, they’ll need to raise it a couple inches, slap on some plastic molding, and call it a Crossover Coupe.