And vocabulary. My God, kids today have the most curiously fractured, random vocabulary set. They deftly employ words such as "random" but are clueless as to words such as "deftly."

Now I want to see the snail trail.

Could you repeat that again, please, but this time really punch up the K sound?

Oldest swear word still in use? - Poop.

No, but a girl likes to hear it every now and then.

Does that IQ CAP have a propeller on top?

"make a middle school English teacher shudder"

Talk about shooting from the hip.

Lana: "There's a pistol in my vagina."
Archer: "I have no problem with that phrasing."

No Jizz in your scrabble dictionary? Mines literally encrusted in it. Waka Waka. (I love scrabble.)

Bob told Gene that he was only allowed to say Beef Curtains once.

Careful, that weapon has a hair clitoris.

Please post nudie shots of her. The world needs to see.

I done already rolled it up n' shoved er up into my vagina. Well, up into what be near 'nuff a vagina what I got.

This Theatrical Adaptation of The Shining will go to 11

What's the dif?

I AM BOYCOTTING SNL UNTIL THERE ARE AT LEAST 2 HALF NAVAJO HALF SUMATRAN LIGHTING TECHS AND 3, NO, 4 FILIPINO/NORWEGIAN/URUGUAYANS IN CRAFT SERVICES

So did Miami, and look at how that turned out.

But what where you doing for those 30 seconds before you played the song? Calling your girlfriend to postpone your date?…

"It's Lights Out for The Shining!" - Gene Shalit, The Nearly Dead Critic