Hot. Sexy hot.

Um, sarcasm? Look into it.

I understand Geena's arches have since fallen.

I had a nun teacher in 2nd grade who was a real comic, a naturally gifted physical comedienne. She could do a complete pirouette down the aisle and perfectly land a severe, vicious blow with her hardened steel yardstick right on your unsuspecting knuckles, like a ninja clown assassin. She was a demonic riot.

What list is that? You're list of things at which to rant unprovoked, without due cause, as an expression of deeply repressed psychosexual conflict, and in a futile, vain attempt to drown out the taunting, vicious voices in your head? Good list…

Maybe you should have ended your wise and witty comment with "Let's lumber on, dragging our knuckles, grunting unintelligible syllables."

Hey look, they have waitress service right on stage.

Ford makes a damn fine vehicle.

Yes, Samantha Bee is a lovely beige color.

You can watch it standing on your head. That'll show 'em!

And aren't Iranians actually Aryans?

So, like Santa, the toys she's been giving me are made in China? And, like Jesus, she doesn't actually give me any toys.

TONIGHT'S TOP STORY…

I live on the web. I'm a webizen.

You've described Prince. Hired!

Dude!?!

You're hired. - Lorne Michaels

The accent's on the "za."

"Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!"

Did Obama personally craft the legislation outlawing the under use of minority comediennes or was it a Tea Party initiative?