So this year has been nuts. I met Prince Harry. Before that we found out husband would have to be on testosterone replacement for the rest of his life because of one of his war injuries. We asked about baby making, so he was put on Clomid to boost sperm count so we could freeze and go through IVF. See, testosterone…

@stephenfry

I am 100% ok with any words being applied to my penis, directly or indirectly, so long as it increases the chances of me getting laid.

I never needed one. i was born with a full head of hair and a moustache! Crazy but true!

I come from a family of non-readers. Both of my parents speak English as a second language and my father is borderline illiterate. My mother is a forgeign language teacher so she has no excuse. She maybe has 3 or 4 books on her religion du jour lying around, but that's it. One of the few things that kept me from…

What the fuck does he do with himself? Sit in the corner with a white noise fan on and look at colors and shapes?

At first I thought you meant, like, he drank too much water. I was like, wow, you play hard to fucking get.

Biggest boner killer? Not reading. I'm with John Waters on this one. We may like different books/authors (the Boy Heathen and I only share a few favorite books) but not knowing about huge books? Unforgivable. I went out on a date with a guy I thought I really liked. He was GORGEOUS and funny and we liked the same…

I heard him interviewed by Howard Stern recently and not only has he got all kinds of schooling, degrees, etc, but he has been TEACHING! Apparently being surrounded by art and film students/professors for so long has created some sort of vacuum where he believes he actually has something important to say. I have…

It probably has happened before, she was just the schmuck who got caught.

Make sure to see This Is the End. You might not like him more, but you will love watching what happens to him.

She looks a little like Kristin, doesn't she?

I'm not elitist, but it's raining today.

I'm not facist but North West is a great baby name.

I'm not homophobic but I am about to fall asleep.

I'm not ageist but I saw a really big cat yesterday.

all of a sudden i have a strong desire to start a new twitter feed and just post "i'm not sexist/racist/etc. but..." and then end it with things like "cheerios are fucking delicious.

Cuz the teeth in my mouth aren't sharp enough.

I've never been married, so I can't comment on personal experience, but I can say that every single one of my married female friends constantly complain about "having" to have sex with their husbands. I mentioned it to my 72-year-old mom, and she said, "Hmmm, they must be doing it wrong because who doesn't always want…

No. I think "What Women Really Eat" consists of...everything. Not all women, all the time, of course, but yeahhhh. The Venn diagram should really be the advertiser circle inside a larger, everything circle.