I was drinking my own piss BEFORE it was cool.

*carefully checks every single comment posted before mine*
More like American I-DULL, right guys?

This will make it far harder for me to direct message him my many (amazing) song ideas. I'll need to figure out his personal e-mail.

Sadly, you have to listen to them at the same time.

*pounds fist on table* Damnit! Them drinking shitty beer afterward was the small victory I needed.

Obviously should have been a man-powered hooded carriage: the Rickshaw.

Now it's only a matter of time before Ellen and Kevin Hart reveal that they're white supremacists, as is required of Youtube celebrities.

He "might not"?

It's impossible to tell.

A good portion of the fans thinking The Walking Dead is a reality show is actually a pretty good explanation of its inexplicable popularity.

Missed opportunity for a Wonderbread tie in, but I guess real heroes cut out the carbs.

I still want Homonym.

I feel like the word "sexy" is a bit redundant in this headline, when it already includes Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, and "book club".

Well, at least now that the will-they won't-they is over, they can go ahead and end Morning Joe. Or else they'll run it into the ground, like The Office post Jim and Pam's wedding.

I mean, haven't we all claimed that we created Kung Fu Panda at one point or another? Whether on a date that isn't going well, or while trying to impress co-workers?

No need, we're already all perfectly aware that Dave is the alien monster.

If laughing at inappropriate times is illegal now, I'm sure to be arrested at the next funeral I attend.

I guess they realized Jordan has Universal A-Peele.

I didn't think there were any hobbits in the Game of Thrones universe, but there you go.

Paul Ryan IS definitely just the kind of spineless twerp to apologize to someone for getting shot in the face.