Why are you people always singling out men?

I like how Deadspin always like to ‘well actually’ when people they don’t like do an uncharacteristically correct thing.

My balls aren’t even that big...

For French press, too - that extra bit of control helps me get a “bloom” on the grinds, which seems to result in smoother, better coffee overall.
I’m with you in that if you have a working kettle, there’s no real urgency to go out and replace it, but I would heartily suggest a gooseneck as its eventual replacement.  

It depends on what you want to do. Being able to make consistent measurements is key to fine tuning the cup to your liking as well as reproducible results. A measuring spoon allows you to get the same amount (volume basically) of coffee each time but since it doesn’t tell you the weight (of either beans or grounds),…

Pipe down, Newton.

Road workers aren’t yet exactly sure what caused the sign to fall

YO WHAT IS UP, CHOMPETTE.

Doesn’t this clown know the appropriate way to slip away???

I have to make a conscious effort to not emulate the accents and speaking patterns of the places I live because it reads pretentious, even when it’s not intended. 

Obviously, this is a weirdly intense faux accent. But isn’t this a real thing? I seem to pick up certain people’s inflections, especially if it’s unique, if I hang out with them for a long period of time. I imagine it’s kind of the same with accents?

I’m sorry, you expect Mango Unchained to remember something that happened a full 10 days ago?

Meanwhile, the final adult is leaving the room in February.  See ya, Mad Dog.  Have a chat with Mueller.

“At least he had the pitchfork, though. I’m sure Satan appreciated the shout out.”

Y’all are starting to remind me why I never liked straightedge kids in high school.

She won the popular vote, amidst a MASSIVE disinformation campaign orchestrated by both Russia and the Trump campaign. She won the popular vote despite all of that.

So, don’t tell me she wasn’t “popular.” Imagine what she would’ve done in a legitimate election. 

Ya'll just crap on everyone, who does Splinter hope gets the 2020 presidential nod?

I saw a comedian do a bit about this that I thought was quite brilliant. She was saying she was used to dating awkward comedian dudes and recently decided to make the move to handsome dudes and realized that they are actually way nicer. Most handsome dudes don’t hate women because women have always been nice to them…

You got the reference, though?

With a punch like that, I’m expecting Nicholson will end up a captain on the Falcons.