Anyone that lives in Philadelphia could easily tell you that Marcus Hayes is a world class jackass. He's the biggest hack in all of Philadelphia media, and that's no small feat.

Yeah, this guy can really go fuck himself.

Reporter: LeGarrette, can you talk to us about Seattle's defense? Do any of those guys scare you?

Do you seriously expect me to read all these shitty stories?

Not many details yet, but I have one: the 49ers were just eliminated from playoff contention this past weekend.

I know SexEd isn't taught everywhere in the US, but unless he's wrist deep in her ass, the anatomy of his arm and the female pelvic area would suggest, that he is in fact manipulating her external genitalia.

I have to be honest.. this story seems juicy with some possible sex stuff, cheating, douchbaggery phone snitching, blackmail and the like... I think I saw allegations of a private room strip club foracble titty sucking ...but I dont know who the fuck these people are

You and I both know if Newton had stayed down, that everyone in his own locker room would have thought of him as a fig.

Are we really analogizing the taste of mushrooms to gender attraction?

I don't care what flavor the Laffy Taffy is, so long as it has those sparkles.

Banana Laffy Taffy is one of the top 3 candies ever made.

Fuck you. That's why.

The photoshop possibilities are horrifying...

Except you don't save your closer on the road in an elimination game in the playoffs. It's desperation time. You use the best you have available.

Deadspin should become all staff chats all the time.

He's just upset about his murdered parents.

I guess it makes it easier to spot the racist.

David Lynch managed to explode every available television trope and not just flip them on their head but actually explore the psychology of why they exist and what cultural role they filled about 20 years before that would become so much of our online conversation (on places like the gawker network say). He also did…

Even if you had never seen a David Fincher movie before David Lynch's work put you off so much that your disgust formed a halo effect that enveloped similarly-named directors, the only decent movie you would have missed as a result is Seven. As for Lynch, Mulholland Drive is legitimately excellent with respect to…