No idea, really. Sorry :(

The Arch wiki is a nice resource: [wiki.archlinux.org]

Make mytext.txt in your home directory with the text you want to convert to MP3. Then go to a terminal and paste that line.

Check out the Ubuntu minimal CD: [help.ubuntu.com]

I seriously doubt that you have a key logger on your Ubuntu machine. They exist, but you have to be tricked into installing one (and it would require you to type your password to install it)

I found this page: [wiki.soslug.org]

1: Install Ubuntu Classic (not sure what the package name for it will be... Unity was when I decided to leave Ubuntu)

What exactly isn't working?

Didn't work :(

It would depend on the video cards more than the distro.

1) Aptitude has a nice ncurses interface. Use "sudo apt-get install aptitude" to install it and "sudo aptitude" to run it. You will want to do some reading up on it, so that you know what the different flags mean, and how to navigate it.

wget -q -O - icanhazip.com

Some of the Ubuntu variants like Kubuntu, Xubuntu, or Lubuntu might be worth a shot.

20 GB for each OS should be enough for system files and installed programs.

Try it and see! You can use a LiveCD to try it without touching your hard drive.

System -> Preferences -> Startup Applications.

Turn off visual effects in the appearance settings, and see if that fixes it.

I don't think Ubuntu supports it anymore, but check out Webmin and Usermin [www.webmin.com]

You need to set up port forwarding (how to do this depends on your router, check out [portforward.com]

Look at your system monitor and see what's using memory, then decide what you can remove.