And then there’s Uncle Webby:

OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME THEY PRANK CALL HIM ON THIS LINE.

I count 138 characters. If he had replaced “w/” with “with”, it would have been 140 exactly. It seems almost intentionally disrespectful to use an abbreviation like that; why the odd informality unless it doesn’t really matter?

With tremendous love and respect for each other... Our priority will continue to be raising our children as devoted parents and the closest of friends.

“The first four years were good, the next five were just habit, and, honestly, we’ve hardly spoken for the last two, which was an improvement over all the fighting and bickering.”

That’s what I said once in another celebrity divorce post! I’d love to hear them say “We don’t like each other anymore. No, we’re not the best of friends, it isn’t amicable, and there’s no point in asking you to respect our privacy when we are pretty sure you won’t. We don’t even really know what’s the point in…

Just once, I’d like to read an honest divorce announcement. That reads like something their publicist already had on file, it’s the most generic, empty statement I’ve ever heard

With a sexy instructor?

I HOPE SWAYZE HAUNTS YOU IN YOUR DREAMS LATER!

This entire paragraph was beautiful in its truth and brutality. Well done, Rich.

Maybe they should have gotten an actual dancer to play Baby.

You’re right. Perry and Corden should use the platform of Carpool Karaoke to talk about the real issues.

It’s representative of how boring my work day is that I’m offering my opinion. If the backup dancers were asking permission to work for Swift, it seems reasonable to assume that they would want to come back and work for Perry. And it seems like her telling them to include the clause wasn’t some kind of control order,…

What a load of crap. The tape was years old by the time it leaked, right?

Haha. Kings, just like us!

I’ve known Jim Comey for nearly a decade (not well enough to hear his secrets, but well enough that, if he ran into me on the street, he’d say hello). Unlike McCain, he is a deeply principled, ethical man. Trump has no idea what he’s started.