Reminds me of the old joke
Q: How are the beers at Estadio Azteca like having sex in a canoe?
A: They’re both fucking close to water. Ultimately it’s an unfulfilling experience that leaves no one happy

Rui Patricio also made a great save on Pogba’s penalty.

Honestly, Sadio Mane’s goal over the weekend was better.

“For real, that’s not his moms tho?”

But the God’s eye of VAR would have robbed us all of the emotion and joy of the moment at Hand!!!

Yes, I recall the halcyon days of yesteryear when there were no weekly controversies in soccer based on disputed handballs and offsides calls.

As if any of these people would even cut back on their lawn-watering for a tenth of a second. 

And then one time he says “If you rake forests, forest fires are finished.” then the next time it’s “Raking forests is why the Finnish never have forest fires.” then the next it’s “I was talking to the President of Finland - great leader, they love me in Finland - and he told me that they don’t have forest fires…

i’m literally right here

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

Bathrooms in Cincinnati are typically the site of much worse devastation.

Add this to the ever-mounting evidence that the only interesting thing about Lalas is that he used to have crazy hair.

He missed an opportunity to use "getting ran over by a Buss" for #59 on every list.

Hardly. He’s a center back, not an attacking midfielder.

To live the full San Francisco experience of having your car broken into and shit stolen.

Insurance fArod

told Brown he hasn’t got a head to stand on here.

I won’t be satisfied until we go back into time to analyze every black and white pixel and commissioned portrait in the history of sports to determine all the real winners and losers. Why merely police the present when the past is just sitting there, riddled with mistakes and bad judgments? Maybe David was offsides…

Oh my bad for prematurely jumping to the conclusion that she’s got anger issues.

Did your family just get shot?