I may have read the headline wrong, but congratulations to Andy Milonakis on his big win. 40 years old and still making magic.

Ugh, any excuse to cover Wimbeldon in Jezebel. ALL RIGHT, I GET IT, YOU LOVE TENNIS. JESUS CHRIST.

Maybe bc they hear ypur voice and think “i dont want to pick up this dickface."

The eventual lineup:

Yes, I agree with the Ms. Black - why isnt the Library of Congress focused on these damned aliens? So listen up, all you file clerks, IT guys, reference librarians and the woman at the interlibrary loan desk -

WHO IS DEMI LOVATO?

Behind Brown Eyes, AMIRIGHT!?

HD video of George HW Bush in an adult bookstore gangbang.

Whoa, Judgy McJudgementface, why so down on the Clean Up Woman? Americans: Let your freak flag fly and try ATM once before Wildlings burn your corpse to prevent you from becoming a white walker.

YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT DREAD PIRATE STEVE!

Why are ppl so amped about Gigi Hadid? Shes undistinguishable from any number of attractive photoshopped folks.

Fuck you bro.

In tomorrows news:

Doesnt the idea of a class war sound better every day?

Ecig helped me quit a nearly pack a day habbit.

Ill throw in a couple of bucks for the funeral.

YES!!! FINALLY!!! NOW YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO FILL OUT THAT CARD OR FACE SOME SORT OF PUNISHMENT! AND NO, YOU WONT BE GETTING A SHICK RAZOR MAILED TO YOU WHEN YOU TURN 18, SO WE STILL WIN! I LOVE ETHICS IN VIDEO GAME REPORTING!!!!!!!!!!! $

Becky with the good hair: