Anyone with their own spokesperson doesn’t need my sympathy. 

Oh, that’s horrible... So sad.

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Don’t worry. I’m sure Vlad would be happy to lend us a little cash just until payday. 

I’d cheer for that except that the idiot doesn’t fly alone. On the other hand, it probably wouldn’t take too much work for someone to convince him that he’s smart enough to fly an airplane with no training.

Actually, he’s already picked out this one:

This is it exactly. He’s happy to act all tough now that he’s not on the stage with Putin, who he’s terrified of.

OK, I won’t try to convince you to like it. Taste is a matter of taste. But cilantro doesn’t taste like soap (I mean to me, and apparently the 86-96% of the population that don’t have the combination of genes that makes it taste like soap).

No doubt he has something in mind like this:

Putin definitely has something on Trump. Probably, he has the power to make Trump’s fortune disappear at the snap of his fingers. So when Putin snaps his fingers, Trump does what he’s told.

Sorry, did I scare you? Have a marshmallow.

If Rupert Murdoch decides that Trump is no longer a useful idiot and withdraws his network’s support, Trump will be finished. Yes, Murdoch, an 87 year old Australian holds that much power over the entire US government.

Pizza! They were making pizza. OK, maybe focaccia.

It’s a thin line between Paleos and Vegans.

Yes, and sometimes I’ll mash up the avocado and add some tomato, onion, salt, lime, chile and cilantro. Totally new invention. I’m amazed nobody but me has ever tried that before!

The trumpies have gone full-on, no remorse, fascist. Fasten your seatbelts. 

Wow, that’s sadly just about perfect. 

That moment that you realize you are going to be the submissive member of this relationship, but your heart tells you that it doesn’t matter.

Dunce à l’orange

In fact, Melania, here you go.