The real secret is that that cushion is stuffed with the darkest secrets of the members of Congress he’s appearing before. It’s more a confidence booster than a height booster.

TOTAL WITCH HUNT?

“I am almost 34, so I think I will be skinny forever.”

Also, why’s he gotta be so insecure about his height? I’m the same height as him and would never think of trying to make myself appear taller. Makes me trust him less than I already did.

Wait, I’m staring into his cold, dead eyes and thinking, are we absolutely certain that that was Mark Zuckerberg testifying before Congress and not Facebook’s new AI bot? I’m getting uncanny valley vibes.

Williamson’s wife, OfKevin, was unavailable for comment.

That is a lie propagated by Big Sticker.

Could be worse: he could have brought up Ivanka’s opinion of their respective ‘packages’.

Thank you to Rasmussen for the honest polling. Just hit 50%, which is higher than Cheatin’ Obama at the same time in his Administration.

Well this is a good Friday indeed. Welcome back, Call-me!

Lot of haters here, but you may be right about this. Still, doesn’t it kind of hinge on what kind of yogourt is being frozen here?

Question for vaping experts because I know nothing: Is there cannabis-vape-liquid that smells like strawberries or some shit so that everyone will think you’re vaping some good ole’ American tobaccy when in fact you’re getting high as fuck at your workplace?

So nice that the Schutzstaffel SS ICE is finally feeling empowered to go above and beyond.

Yes. I hope the production company finds some money in the budget for lighting next season. These last two seasons have been so poorly lit, it’s like watching the show as a post-infection Father Gabriel.

There is a lot of bullying tolerated in the restaurant industry. Certainly in Canada, and presumably in France as well. Lately there has been a degree of pushback, where service industry workers are demanding their human rights. As someone who has in the past worked in restaurants internationally, I say good!

Jinni, you’re the best for writing this. Really. Everyone should be lucky enough to have friends like you. Muqaddimah has always been a progressive, generous, and brilliant commenter here. As much as I’ve enjoyed Code 45* (a lot), I’ve also considered him to be the Voice of Canada here, and as a fellow Canuckistani,…

I’ll stand up for Call-me-Muck. I saw the exchange where he said something racist in the voice of Jeff Sessions. Honestly! Everyone knows Sessions is racist. It’s right on his business card. Muck shouldn’t have been banned for that. One person (or more?) took offence and Muck answered flippantly. If anything, Muck…

Check out my forthcoming documentary film: Far Out and F*cked Up: The Fabrication of ‘Freakouts and Frenzies: The Absolutely Real Story of “Flimflams and Falsehoods: The True Story of ‘Fraud and Fiction: The Real Truth Behind “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.”’”’

Don’t even come near this song with any nasally whining.

Can I just say on behalf of Canadians that Prince Charles’ coronation would be a pretty fucking opportune time to ditch the monarchy, or at the very least decide not to put his mug on our money (I mean on this side of the pond, obviously; the Brits will still need the tourist draw).