I enjoy Martha’s and Snoop’s friendship. It’s cute he gave her a painting.

Many parents on Jez drink beer. I bet they’d be surprised to realize that makes them shitty parents.

lol stop. there is a difference between someone that recreationally smokes pot and someone that is addicted to it/using it a level that it is hurting their lives. just like alcohol

Actually, it reads like a standard court order in an abuse and neglect case that the parties had no choice but to obey.

Mandatory counselling for all parties involved in a divorce seems like a very good idea

From “Yes We Can” to “No Fat Chicks”.

236 my ass. That’s the exact number of lbs. to sneak in under the obese classification for someone who is 6'3" (also note his height increased an inch in order to sneak in there too). I don’t buy it for a second. Not that commenting on women’s bodies would be cool if he were fit, but the hypocrisy and delusion are…

How can Trump make America white again when he can’t even stop Machado from becoming a citizen and voting against him? What a fat loser he is!

My favorite moment was when Hillary said Machado is now an American citizen. Trump’s face! He was genuinely surprised, and not in a good way.

Trump went on to say at a rally this morning,

I’m 100% sure Kellyanne Conway did her level best to drill into his head how devastating the misogyny is (those ads are killing him), but it just didn’t register. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s a problem for women, who are more than half of voters, as well as thinking men, or those with daughters and…

He just doesn’t know when to stop.

Even those fuckers at Fox are starting to realize the kind of monster they’ve created. We are truly living through some interesting times, folks.

I love how their faces kind of collectively freeze as he starts to talk about Ms. Universe having “gained a lot of weight.” Like they’re all thinking “Shut up shut up SHUT UP WHAT ARE YOU DOING.”

His squandered potential may have been fated so that he could deliver the most important tweet to ever change the course of American politics. Like some dead zone shit, his ruined presidential campaign had to happen so that he could be in a position to destroy the true threat to America

I VOTED FOR U DEAN

Like half my smart friends and I came to the same conclusion about the cocaine pretty much simultaneously. We were all like...

Don’t forget the teeth grinding.

Howard Dean is kind of a Presidential Past Hopeful ILF. He was done wrong, we need more dean.