My cat punched me in the eye once. Without claws. So for like a month, I had 1/3 of a normal-sized black eye going on, and had to tell everyone I was punched by a cat.

Not to blame the victim, but GIRL. WHAT DID YOU DO?

Cats give signals to leave them alone. I know my cats’ signs. I’m wondering if she didn’t read the signs the cat was giving to her.

Is it? I thought it was female writers who inspired him. But even so, Gloria Steinem wrote her Playboy piece in 63.

I mean, she is 61, and has been around for decades, mostly writing for the literary magazine The New Yorker, which I’m sure this asshole has heard of. She actually has a new book out about dirty money in politics focusing on the Koch brothers. So if he actually paid attention to his peers without a penis, he would…

According to her wiki entry, his wife Nan Talese edited and published Margaret Atwood, Antonia Fraser, Valerie Martin (winner of the Orange Prize) and Jennifer Egan (who published short fiction in many of the publications Gay did, received NEA and Guggenheim fellowships, won the Pulitzer and the National Book Critics…

Hi, my name’s Jonathan Franzen and I really don’t see what the uproar is all about.

Wait, someone who is a famous proponent of replacing journalism with narcissistic navel-gazing is a shitty sexist? Gosh I for one am shocked.

I also can't name a single female writer that inspires me. I can't name a male writer who inspires we either. I am a sentient hunk of cheese that someone plugged directly into the Internet. I am inspired by mold and bacteria.

Yup, that's par for the course. I have a famous cousin and we all had to give up our phones for the day when she got married.

I don’t personally get the base notes of slut-shame, but I do detect a rancid top note of judgment.

‘Drew had a very rebellious and wild childhood, with no family around her, and while she is a different person now, and a great mother, some of that can stay with you.’

Drew, my celebrity doppelgänger, we basically got knocked up at the same time.. Twice. So let’s get together and let our kids roll around in the grass while I peruse your closet and help you shed some old ensembles and make room for your new single lady looks. I really don’t mind.

Gas station jerky IS people. GAS STATION JERKY IS PEOPLE. DON’T YOU SEE??? GAS STATION JERKY ISSSS PEEEOPLEEEE (is dragged away screaming. Turned into delicious gas station jerky-peppered flavor).

I was hoping for people :(

two american kids killing toddlers in the heartland

Little Ditty with Jo and dying.

When I was in kindergarten, I bit another girl’s thumb. I wasn’t mad at her or anything, I was just really curious about what would happen if I bit someone. Another time, I was playing with a girl (this was elementary school still—I was maybe eight-ish?), and we made up a code language, and were writing notes back and…

Our cat died when my daughter was 4. I let her touch him and then watch as we buried him in the back yard and had a little funeral for him. She was so confused. She kept asking if he would come back. Even now at almost 6, she sometimes asks where he is and what happened to him. The permanence of death is really a…

“I’ve joked before that children are like sociopaths until you teach them not to be”