Man, those Germans have a word for everything!

You'll be happier when you start to realize and accept that America is completely, utterly batshit crazy.

Pretty good cheese, though.

If you want a happy ending and release, try Back Door Sluts 9.

Sticking a lit candle up another man's ass might mean that one is a closeted bromosexual.

The one that involves "the hanging threat of sexual humiliation?" It must be where you have to drop trou while a live goat laughs at your genitals.

I would put it up there with "Drunk Dad Advice," where Bruce McCullough whisks his son away from his birthday party so that the boy can watch his old pop get stinking drunk on brandy in the middle of a field.

You like "The Kid in the Hall We DON'T Like?"

That actually sounds pretty awesome.

Armada Comes Alive!

"Tastes like candy," is exactly the kind of thing I'd expect Mark McKinney to say while dressed up as the devil.

"Have a margarita. You'll like it. It tastes just like candy."

If you are in a legitimate crisis and find yourself considering a call to Miss Cleo, you may have already found the solution to your problem: stop being a dumbass who throws their money down the toilet.

All considerations about coming to terms with a new identity aside, the title of this show always reminds me of the Oscar bait Sean Penn vehicle I am Sam, which always led me to imagine Caitlyn Jenner walking around wide-eyed and goofy, a la Ben Stiller's Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder.

It was the reality TV show that tried to use its powers for good, but in the end, it was in its nature to be a reality TV show…and suck.

Scrambled pancakes are always a fiasco. You think it's going to turn out like funnel cake, but no…

I'll be in my room.

That's too bad. I only go about once a year, and it is definitely a guilty pleasure. The people in there are soooooo fat, but it tastes sooooooo good!

Pair that with a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, and it's a thing of beauty. French chefs can make crepes all day, and it still won't come close.

Most of these are better than anything on the original list, but I would like to add: