Man, this is going to be hilarious! Nothing says comedy gold like a scowling human cash register!

If I worked there, I would inject myself with Ebola and work extra hours for a few days prior.

He'll never win enough swing states. It's pretty safe to say that Florida and New Mexico are lost causes for him, probably Colorado too. And the northern states like Ohio and Pennsylvania aren't as affected by border issues, which are the centerpiece to his campaign.

I know I always consult Iowan Republicans whenever I need advice.

Yeah, his supporters tend to forget that you have to win swing states to win. And swing states aren't real keen on extremists spouting rhetorical nonsense.

Had to look up what a Vuvuzela was, but I'll tell you one thing about those accusations: He can't hide from the truth forever.

Christmas, Ted. What does that mean to you? Getting dragged and kicked? Of course not, that doesn't happen, skip that Ted. Bad question.

Why not Brian Wilson?

I don't believe a lot of what Hillary says, but I believe less of what Trump says. He's not going to deport the illegals. It will cut into his profits too much. Duh.

Actually, if Trump actually wins and deports all the illegals like he says he's going to (he won't, but whatever), and then replaces all of those workers with Americans demanding $10+ an hour, the price of food is going to skyrocket so much that most families will find it difficult to afford food.

He lost my upvote when he rolled out that weird comment about singing praises to Allah.

I wonder if he also goes by "Emilio Zetino" (above).

Dude, please. "Asian-American" is the preferred nomenclature.

I cannot and will not watch an episode of SNL that doesn't feature the Church Lady.

"I'm the fucking Burp King of Westchester!"

Donald Trump: Vote for Me and I Swear to God You'll Never Not See My Face!

U.S.A! U.S.A!

I can't wait to hear how excited he is about the prospect of paying $12 for a head of iceberg lettuce after Trump deports all the illegals and replaces them with expensive American workers.

Sorry, Aunt Judy…

"As a bisexual albino Eskimo, I…"