the new and old testaments are phase one the JCU, the jesus cinematic universe.

“we Christians, we’re the ones that have been persecuted and to the point we’ll be prosecuted if we didn’t keep our mouth shut.”

I am an atheist but I hope that there is a hell in situations like this, and I hope those fucking guards burn in it forever.

I hope you find some Xanax in your next loot box.

I bet he and Pence get together in his man cave (decorated with sporty bible verses) and pay bible trivia with categories like “Things in the bible that prove men are superior” and “Different ways women are sluts” and “Biblical bodies of water.”

Great! You hear that, America? Bears. Now they’re putting the entire country at risk. Someone call Betsy DeVos; we need her Certified Ursine Neutralization Team out here, ASAP.

It should be pointed out, if it isn’t obvious, that it’s in fact illegal to ask women those types of questions in a job interview. So he’s not only an asshole, he lets his assholeness cloud reasonable judgement of the law.

And they attract bears during their gross lady time, don’t forget that!

Raise your hand if you’re SO tired of the bullshit.

“Also they clog the toilets with their tampons, are known carriers of cooties, will go out of their way to make you feel bad for simple compliments about their tits, and I’m told some of them have teeth in their vaginas, am I right fellas?” - Something Neil Gorsuch, who I’m not certain has ever actually met a woman,…

I didn’t want to say it, but understanding this election is really, really easy if you’re honest about it.

I have a Syrian hamster and a Russian hamster. (Seriously, that where they each originated from.) OMG you would not believe how tense it has been in my home.

I have a cat who looks like a Russian Blue but is actually a gray tabby. He is concerned that he will be stereotyped for his appearance.

My cat is a Russian Blue and cares about the Russia issue because I think that he might be a Russian spy.

This is going to be a scorching hot take, but merely bearing and raising a child does not in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM make you qualified to talk about the Trump/Russia allegations and wider societal implications on (what could be generously described as) a news program.

My family consisting of me, my partner, and our four cats, cares DEEPLY about the Russia issue.

Doesn’t make any sense.

I think someone at Gizmodo pointed out that triggered GamerGaters intentionally downvoted movies and TV shows with female main characters? And a bunch of guys got triggered by it, pretty much proving the exact point the author was making.

If Wills has learned anything from the last few months, it should be to Tweet a distraction. Just heard! Queen has wiretapped Corgis! This is terrible!