Love him or hate him, the man has changed the world, and has become an icon not just for techies, but for anyone who listens to the news, or owns an iPod. He's human, and deserves a good life. Hopefully a less stressful one now. Perhaps he'll put on some weight. : )

I'm kind of curious to try barefoot toe-shoe thingies. But I need them to work for everything. Rugged terrain, walking long distances across campus, working out, Spartan-kicking Persians, etc. Do I ask too much? Are sock-less shoes not for me??

And Spanish soap operas are way less funny when you speak Spanish.

Wow! I didn't plan on ever buying a SECOND tablet while I still have my iPad first gen, but 100 bucks?! Yes. That's fine in my book. Even though I might never use it. A tablet for my mom while I'm at school would be great.

Oh, we were harvesting your data?? Ha! Silly us! Let's just fix that right now and feign ignorance... Yeah, just put that court order away, please..

Luke, you've turned off your targeting computer!!

The fact that he was going BACKWARDS is what blows me away. I love me some rollerblading, but the roads here are garbage, and sadly I have no salt mines nearby...

Hehe your vertebrae are showing!

I actually don't have a uvula. : P I'm sure it's not necessary for what you are describing, but I've had that removed, and lots of work done within my sinus cavities and such because of being born with cleft lip and palate. I'm guessing that the scar tissue in my nose and throat might be antagonists to my altitude…

I found out that if I were to scuba dive, I would probably die from pressure differentials because of a funky valve in my heart. I GUESS I can live without scuba diving. In more ways than one.

I think someone needs a hug. The best way cheer up one meme is to give it another, more upbeat meme. Rebecca, I'd like you to meet Captain Hammer. Bullying is a satanic chest-hair milkshake. This I know. Obviously your classmates aren't cool like we here at Gizmodo. Though your explosion of dubious fame may be the…

Beige is good. This is the kind of preparation that you can only find on Giz. Maybe throw in some modern art? Steel sculptures? I'll bring my library so that our future generations don't become illiterate. Does anyone know botany? We're going to need food..

Sounds good to me.. But then we will have rioters over sales, and people getting run over in the Wal-Mart parking lot.. We just can't win.

Deal. Looks like all of those zombie plans are finally going to come in handy. Except this time, it's for a different kind of zombie. I would propose West Texas for our fortress location, but it's so dang hot, we'd die.

Like I told a friend the other day, it looks like it's about time to stock up on 30-06 ammo and Raman noodles, and convert all of my wealth into gold. Something's got to give, and I suspect that it will give soon.

I knew Apple removed the disk drives for a reason... You sick journalists, you...

Please become Scribe of Gizmodo, chronicling each day's wacky adventures in comic fashion.

Heyyyyyyy-o!

27 football fields... Even with the scope, the target would be minuscule at best. That's some serious skill. Also, a serious ability to know the weapon inside and out.

I would assume that the Corporal had a spotter beside him with high-powered optics. Snipers typically operate in teams of two.