A sign using ditch as the rhyme is probably not what you need to worry about from Bears fans.

Now this is the highbrow humor I come to Deadspin for!

Yup! They were a staple of my high school cafeteria in the early 2000s. Like, you could get a hot lunch, or a bag lunch that had a shitty turkey sandwich in it, or one with an Uncrustable. The Uncrustable one won every time.

WHAT IS THIS MAGIC???? Seriously, how did I miss out on these?

They have that uniquely processed taste, which I know isn’t selling it very well. But it’s sorta like when you have to have Kraft Mac and Cheese out of a box, even though making it from scratch would arguably give you a better finished product. 

Counterpoint: Uncrustables are fine.

*checks Google, makes sure I’m thinking of the right person*

But did they say anything about using Moonraker #2???

Seriously, this. Like, why the fuck is my watch list never in the same goddamn spot? Why does it sometimes get buried under everything else? Like, I have better luck searching for a show I want to watch than trying to find my queue.

NAILED IT. The current “issue” right now in my area is a rash of car break-ins (and by break-ins, I mean the dumbass car owners leaving the doors unlocked and/or the keys still in the car, and people taking things). I live a few miles from the “rich” neighborhood, and somehow the posts from there end up in my feed.…

 I just want this again for my PS4.

If you can, pick up a 4 pack of the New Glarus Apple Ale around Thanksgiving, too. It’s ridiculously fucking good.

The matching hat, too. Christ. 

I moved to Wisconsin from Chicago as a kid with no real sports loyalty. For two seasons, I rooted for the Packers, then decided it was going to be a REBELLIOUS KID and changed my team to the Bears. LOOOOOOOL joke is on fucking me, right? But at least we have the Titty Kisser, and the retired linebacker who now has a…

Side note: there have been a lot of people from Whitefish Bay on Wheel of Fortune recently, thanks to a visit from the Wheelmobile. I get irrationally angry when those rich fuckers win the bonus round. Some shitty professor couple even won the $100,000.

Never forget #DaveMagary.

Met my wife on the dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, which is the absolute worst app to have to say out loud.

Welcome back WYTS and Dave Magary!

Huge THPS4 fan here. For some reason, this mission doesn’t stick out in my mind nearly as much as the Manual the Switchbacks mission in Alcatraz. That was the one where you had to hold a manual for at least 30 seconds, while making at least two 180 degree turns. Still haven’t beat that mission to this day. I remember…

Oh my god, I love these stories, and I’m glad to see we’ve all been there, too.