I’m going to guess you never moved because the economy of where you lived was collapsing. The vast majority of my college classmates graduated with degrees and moved to other metros with more robust economies than where we attended schools.

Texas is for people who can’t afford to run away to Florida.

Yeah. I’m alright with it too. I think Lue handles the players a little bit better anyway.

No one gives a fuck about your children except you and your immediate family.

And ... the kids

Oh no. I’m there every other week. The North Hills are full of XXXXL fans in Steelers gear and the South Hills are full of meth heads who wander up from Morgantown. This city is the capitol of Appalachia.

Yeah. That should really come with a warning.

To be more precise, he’s shopping in the children’s section.

It’s the same smug in New England, just with 75% less fat.

You will want a different car. Whether you’re able to afford a fancier one is another matter.

As someone who also ended a 10 year marriage 24 months ago...

You dumb cocksucker, please tell me where MLB explicitly instituted a policy that banned legal substances from the game prior to 2005.

Nope. I root for RedZone. And my fantasy teams. And my betting interests. You can enjoy a game without having a vested, life and death interest in the teams, you know.

You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

So you’re suggesting Dale Berra lied under oath? Right. Got it. When did he do time for perjury, again?

Awwwe, I’m sorry. Did I piss on your childhood by implication. I’m sorry that I asserted that your childhood hero snorted coke when instead he was an amphetimene user and dealer. Whoopsie!

No bigger of a pile of horseshit than the sanctimony people like you spout. Literally half of the members of the baseball hall of fame were using banned performance enhancing substances while they played. Amphetimenes were rampant in baseball from the end of World War II until they were phased out of clubhouses in the…

Smith has helped Jameis Winston to a historic season for a rookie quarterback, and a probable Offensive Rookie of the Year award.

I mean, clearly they were discovered by the great chemist Thomas Boswell who was moonlighting as a sportswriter for the Washington Post.

As did about half of Major League baseball from the 1960s onward. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go snort a couple of lines of cocaine with Will Stargell.