Marv Levy says hello.

The good news about Cleveland is that houses were already cheap, so they didn’t fall quite so far when the market crashed. As long as you were not horribly underwater, you’re at least level now.

DePodesta does have some prior football experience, he was in the front office of the Baltimore Stallions in the 1995 and helped lead them to a Grey Cup.

Shooting them won’t make things better—it will make them worse.

Gosh. If only there was a way we could explore the relationship between the Bundy family and a cross section of Republicans. Oh wait...

I think the answer to your question resides partially in the phrase “Blaine Gabbert was legitimately the best QB on the roster”. Your coaching staff is supposed to tailor a game plan around the strengths of the talent on the roster. The previous staff didn’t seem to have this problem with Kaepernick, you know?

Actually, the problem can be all three. Or two of the three.

Near the town of Monroe, which is a bit north of Cincinnati is an exit off of I-75. On one side is a gigantic flea market with an anatomically correct statue of a male horse. On the other is a megachurch that used to have a $500k statue of Jesus (before it was struck by lightning and burned down to the frame).

The…

C’mon man. What did you expect? It says ‘Florence Y’all’ right on the water tower.

Holding him without a reception in the first half should do.

Shouldn’t you be out chasing kids off your lawn?

Mark my words, there will be a massive officiating mistake that will sway the outcome of a divisional championship game

I think there’s a sufficient body of evidence to reach that conclusion about Alvarez as a boss.

Yes. You’re an asshole for doing it, and I hope that while driving to your destination and attempting to send a picture of your penis to a complete stranger you accidentally go through a guardrail and roll down a cliff.

I would also find that completely plausible. He’s like a marginally more competent version of Pat Haden, at this point.

I’m sure there will be, by someone. But there are only two culprits: exhaustion and illness. I’m hoping it’s the former, for his sake.

1 out of 10. You failed to mention the furious masturbation/sobbing session.

Ethics are for suckers.

Tack on some high end condos and you have yourself a deal, apparently.

Relegation is never ever ever. Going to happen. Ever.