It’s important to accept being old and out of touch, because how lame would the world be if young people didn’t make shit that made old people cringe or get upset?  I view it as a positive if the kids are doing stuff I don’t understand.

If an outright war criminal like GWB can be rehabilitated I have no hope that this admin is ever going to be held to account.

“Fellas, is it gay to have a clean ass?”

If you got peanut butter on a carpet would you just rub some dry ass paper towel on there, or maybe use a bit of liquid to lift off some of it?

You need better toilet paper, because with a bidet I can get away with using just a couple squares to basically dab/dry, without any shredding.  Bidet life forever.

First place I ever had pimento cheese was Maine, of all places, and now I want to eat all the pimento cheese.

Speaking of underappreciated or dismissed lady drummers, if you’ve never seen Karen Carpenter absolutely SMOKE a kit, well -

I am seeing a disturbing amount of people who somehow believe that the crooked ass “justice” system in this country would ever be used against an ex-president in any meaningful way.  

I mean, that’s been the story of my life for as far as I can remember.

Sure, the problem is all of those can also be (and have been) ways for fascists to consolidate power, while at the same time fighting against socialism.

There should be far more conversation around that fact that Shalala (the centrist from Florida) lost to a GOP candidate who attached her to the socialist label, but at the same time a progressive reform passed with 60% of the statewide vote (a $15 minimum wage). That means there were A LOT of folks in Florida who…

I hope this election is the last fucking time the Democrats decide that what they need to do to win is attract Republicans (who never defect in the hoped for numbers anyway) and maybe start proposing policies that their constituents actually want.

I don’t know, the status quo before Trump meant we had a president that expanded the surveillance state, massively increased our use of drone bombs, was called the “deporter in chief” by immigrants rights groups, basically allowed himself to be strong armed by Joe Lieberman, of all people, to make healthcare reform…

Because of the Mormons. Up until 2 or 3 years ago, almost every Mormon kid was a scout, lots of Mormons were Scoutmasters, etc...

Glad I brought you a smile, and RIP Griselda Blanco (guinea pig version).

Now that’s the kind of pedantry I have no choice but to appreciate.

“The Girl Scouts celebrate Griselda Blanco, a strong woman who dominated in a career that was once thought of as something only men can do!”

What we need is a mix of Schoolhouse Rock’s civics cartoons but with the honesty of the Simpsons parody version.

Whenever a job says “we’re like family here” they mean the kind of family who steals your christmas money and sells your records to buy heroin.

There’s only two ways to get this - either be born at the right time, into a cancelled future where all we have is ironic remove and nonsense as coping tools, or do some high dose mushroom trips and think about the nature of concensus reality and how language is basically magic we use to define the unknowable.