i just re-read this year or two ago but i'd forgotten what a piece of shit that screw was.

you think there's still gonna be a human civilization in 30 years with this guy in charge of the nuclear launch codes?

KGBeast tried to kill Reagan until Batman cut his (KGBeast's, not Reagan's) hand off.

a couple years ago, my 5-year-old nephew mis-heard someone refer to Mitt Romney as "Butt Romney" and, like little kids do when the find out people think something sorta naughty is funny, proceeded to howl it at random for the whole weekend we were visiting.

well, i heard Trump was gonna get to the bottom of what REALLY happened to Biggie and Tupac, so….

the movie is 20 years old - i don't think you need to worry about spoilers anymore and people who bitch have had plenty of chances to see the film by now.

Verbal might not be Soze but he was clearly involved in the harbor massacre and passing himself off as Keyser Soze at some point during the night.

i didn't hate the first movie (and haven't seen the second) but no fuckin way is Tom Cruise Jack Reacher - the only way i could enjoy it was as a rando action movie that just HAPPENED to have some names and a plot and a title that copied a really good book.

we used to watch this movie over an over when it came out on HBO, sophomore year of college and would quote the lines back to one another in what was probably an extremely irritating fashion for a bunch of midwestern white kids. man, Robin Harris was hilarious in this movie: the goofball cops stop him on some bullshit…

no better way to use up summer produce than a big fuckin' bowl of icy cold gazpachu, in my opinion.

you can still get Little Kings there and i just love those tiny bottles of beer.

Larosas Creamy Garlic salad dressing is pretty good but i don't know about their pizza. my brother lives just outside Cincin.

a couple years ago, i turned on some cooking show out of Pittsburgh on the local PBS and they were putting a huge mound of noodles into a pan, mixing it with some kind of tomato sauce and then dumping what looked like a massive amount of freshly grated hard cheese on top. it looked like some sort of vegetarian lasagna…

i lived in Ashland, which is maybe 45 minutes from Akron, for about 8 months and that town was one of the laziest, most fucked up joints i've ever been in my life. there was one week where it snowed about three feet or so in one night (and the place is probably not an hour away from Lake Erie, so it isn't like…

the "Coleman's Fish Sandwich" they serve here in the Ohio Valley can go right in the garbage can, if you ask me.

the proper usage of cottage cheese is two-fold:

ballpark franks are basically snouts and buttholes but good fuck if they don't taste amazing once they've been grilled and you've had a couple beers.

i have two favorite bratwurst combinations: one is the classic spicy brown mustard with sauerkraut and fried onions - which is a great way to enjoy a brat but something i only really need to enjoy once or twice a year. i used to have to drive past a canning factory on my way to work and the month or so they would make…

yes and really the best use of iceberg lettuce ever. it sounds snarky as fuck to say this but i mean it whole-heartedly: when i was growing up in wisconsin, seeing a huge platter of taco dip with all the toppings and a big bag of chips was always a signal you'd been invited to a party where people weren't jerking you…

i don't know shit about what you dirty aussie's call ketchup but your Tim-Tams, used as a sort of straw to slurp up tea, are fucking amazing. also, you introduced me to the beer-lemonade shandy when i visited a decade ago and it was so great i've been drinking them for the last 10 summers. lemonade even makes an IPA…