So in the spirit of Trader Joe’s food brands (Trader Jose’ etc) will this say Trader Faux’s? 

This will be a TL;DR for many of you, but I thought you might enjoy as it is relevant to this story.  Excerpt from my book about personal near-death experiences that I’m writing:

I’m going to eat an edible, smoke a joint, and watch this shit.

Don’t worry, this air freshener is INflammable!

Talk about a hot SEAT!

They should get Mark Walberg to pitch it. Then he could be called the

Does this mean this thing will crash while pulling out of a cars&coffee as well, albeit very silently?

For paying an extra $5 of allowance money, I let my kids choose their seats in the van (third row only, 28" seat pitch). And if they got a good progress report, I’ll even let them bring an extra carryon bag with guaranteed space (on the roof rack, that is).

Damn. We were within 2 days of seeing “The Last Boy Scout” opening sequence in real life.

First Gear:

Everywhere you race

Fighting is part of the game.

1st gear:

Gonna take a lot of orange wedges and Capri Suns to make up for that disappointment.

“Jurbey” sounds like Australian for “penis”.

Just buy a real minivan......

So I probably shouldn’t have watched that video at work without headphones, got a ton of dirty looks from my coworkers. Not because of the sound, but because I was masturbating.

Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

2020 Hyundai Knickers

If you’ve got a newborn now, then you’re looking at maybe, maybe six more months of your blissful never getting “down on the ground, ever, at all, in life, for any reason” existence. After that, it’s all over.