The Wal-Mart Meat Truck Pizza was somehow the most shocking thing about that whole trainwreck.

I remember having a faceplate stolen.  Absolutely useless to the thief, cost me $100 to order a replacement.  

I get made fun of for the amount of vinegar I buy. I clean so much crap with vinegar. Also, I’m the weirdo who doesn’t like lemon, so vinegar is my lemon.

I won the internet on a day it was full of Tiger King memes and shotgun chug challenge videos.  Yay mee!

My god, the scrolly photos with edgy typography about your philosophy of peoples relationship to food - way too common

 If they don't give us sales figures for each version by the time this is done, Ill be upset. 

Lead laced libations laying under Leeds? Seems like you buried the lede. Likely.

If I had to choose one industry with the worst web design before this whole mess, it would be restaurants.  I would actually dread getting a link sent by my wife because restaurant websites are SO BAD like 90 percent of the time.

That Milla came up with the name brings me an irrational amount of joy.

Impossible Long Pig here we go...

There’s a meme going around where your apocalypse name was how you’re feeling and the last thing you ate.  Mine at the first moment I saw it was “disgruntled cracker.”  Which is probably a subset of electric biscuits.

God this is weird, but I miss my bus ride.  I'm huddled in the corner with headphones on and it's a peculiar sensation of being alone with strangers. If I make it through this without my wife offing me for being annoying, that bus ride will be amazing. 

 THAT is what I would call a feature, not a bug.  Depending on what she's buying, I guess. 

I’ve now cleaned it twice.

It’s been 35 years? Man, tow that Ghia off your mother in law’s lawn, already.

That’s entirely possible. May also be why I hate Elf so much after so many years of everyone telling me how good it is and finally watching it.

Two of many local examples:

I’m a bit of a fussy contrarian on this.  My first instinct when someone makes me food is to be a little insulted (it’s not a rational reaction, just my knee jerk).  I would much rather feed myself.

It’s weird... I started curing a brisket flat before all this started.  So in the middle of the crisis, I’ll be smoking a big hunk of luxurious pastrami.  Kind of feels a little like I’m cheating on this hunkering down thing.

I finally got around to watching it about a year ago.  Woof.