I can't read Twitter. I literally look at a tweet, see it exists, and that it must be in some sort of context, but can't figure it out, or how to read the conversation it is ostensibly a part of. I think I started an account years ago, but never figured it out. I once saw a comment that brands needed a Twitter…

Again, I happen to be on the side that hears “You could run a moldy sandwich against this guy and win” and responds “Oh yeah?  Challenge accepted.”

Try being married to someone who slowly shifted right and turned into a supporter of that nightmare.  And realizing they are probably right that he will probably win the next election.

What the heck?  Garage opener and CD player are precious.  I could do without approach lights, bluetooth, hands free cell phone integration, adaptive headlights, push button start... I can probably think of dozens of options I’d get rid of before the garage opener and CD player.

I don't usually do parties as I hate this time of year, but the times I have, I bring a nice bottle of whisky and silently die inside when people mix it instead of drinking it neat. I'm not someone you should invite to your parties. 

Yay, I can reuse this joke:

Somehow, I live in one of the most inhospitable places for car maintenance (road salt from October-March), but in the past year, I’ve seen both a Figaro and a Pao in person on the streets. I’ve never had a life goal before, but now it’s to reverse a Figaro through a Burger King drive through.

That’s the whole bit about the ad- both what they were going for and why it landed so wrong. Everyone who says “Oh, she was so thin before” is missing the point. The change was supposed to be in her confidence, from shy beginner, not sure if she could stick to it, to being noticed by the remote instructor and gaining…

As someone who lived without a car for many years, I was always peeved that drive throughs would be open late at night but wouldn’t serve you if you bicycled or walked up.

Well, at least two people found it a-peel-ing.

I’m an idiot by the way. It's a pack of six, not 15-20 (I was so irritated by the instructions, I hadn't looked at them in a while). Reasonable for a family, not for my one - burger a month eating self. I individually vacuum sealed them this morning and am defrosting one. Let's see if it's terrible or decent.

I had to look that up- we do have similar products, and I generally prefer them. When I bought this pack at Costco, I honestly thought they would be similar. The same company makes these, which are easy and tasty. Instead I bought these which seem like a pain in the you-know-what.

I want to say 15-20?  Maybe a dozen.  The problem being I usually only eat dinner one or two nights out of the week, so it would take a while for me to get through them.

I’m going to have to try that at some point... I think there are like 15-20 burgers in one pack that isn’t resealable.  I’ll pry them apart and vacuum seal smaller portions once I feel ambitious.

I impulse bought one of the other Lab-Burgers at Costco (the Awesome Burger). They’re sitting in my freezer now because I didn’t look at the instructions before I bought them, and they are annoying-

We’ve been here before... I find American cheese tastes weird- sour, almost? and it kind of ruins the flavor of a burger for me. At the very best, everything else overpowers it and it fades into nothing.  Even the trend a few years ago when all the fancy restaurants tried to have a “house made American” for their…

I will reiterate my love for the Hot Scotchy.

Last winter, I was taken to an outdoor Christmas market at Union Depot.  The Krampus march and gluhwein were the only saving graces.

As a lover of these onions, I have to confess I have found something better. At Costco, they sell bags of French fried Hatch green chilies.  Freaking amazing.

I had that conversation a couple of months ago. But the optometrist said there was a lens that was kind of a bifocal, but not.  Which just made me feel simultaneously old and coddled.