“AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF HADN’T BEEN FO-wait. Did you say the Conservatory with the lead pipe? Nope. Not me. Just tired, I guess.”

I’m sure one could theoretically get a warranty on a flood-damaged Bugatti Veyron.

Chipotle: “Every serving contains a surprise!”

Quickly double-check to see if he’s wearing a goatee to delimit where his face ends and his neck begins.

Dear NRA - What should a good guy with a gun to do against a bad guy with an iPhone?