I believe Wiz Khalifa settled this issue when he argued that “if you don’t like it, you can suck a dick” — thus ending any and all debate on hoverboards.

Uh, Aaron, not trying to be a jerk... but that’s not what I submitted.

how fucking stupid can you be? no wonder americans are always ruining their cars with idiots like you who fail to grasp the most basic concepts. i can teach a 4year old child to drive and i bet he could do a better job than you at both driving or trolling.

The scandal was that he didn’t pull hard enough on his bootstraps.

so what’s the scandal here?

How does Tucker fit with the question? I don’t see where there was any scandal there at all.

Thats actually a pretty reasonable price for a van of that era in non-rusted and running condition.

lol, you said high speed.

Dammit, the dog ate my ignition card.

That’s more effort than what goes into a month’s worth of AOTD posts.

You expected a Back to the Future hoverboard? Get real, lol

Assailing Hyundai reliability?! Have we been transported to 1997?!

Damn those flying bears.

Kerri Strug couldn't have stuck that landing any better. Kudos.

I read the whole thing in an automated telephone system lady's voice, and it was awesome. Kudos to you sir.

Execution.

All that flattery should at least get you un-greyed for a bit! Thanks!

#COTD.

Torch, your kid is ridiculously cute. I really enjoy your writing and was super-happy when my fellow Jalops and Opponauts helped you find your stolen Beetle.