I hope Cespedes hits a ball 500 feet off Bumgarner, flips the bat so hard it takes off like an Apache helicopter and leaves the stadium, and then stares down that Appalachian fuckwit before he does a pirouette and salsa dances his way around the bases. 

The Cardinals really aren’t *that* bad. I’m a Yankees fan. WE are self important douchebags. The Red Sox have human garbage as fans. Though they haven’t won anything the Cubs fans are so shitty I hope they lose until the sun explodes and swallows the planet whole. And the Giants are at best a half step behind St.…

Is this like 500 days of Kristen Whomever? I couldn’t give less of a shit about this.

Boy, this meme got old about 73 losses ago.

hopefully syphilis

I like the Cards. Always have. Imagine my surprise when I found out from comments on Deadspin that my loyalty to a particular ball club makes me a racist and a supporter of cops who murder unarmed civilians. Who knew? Thanks for setting me straight,…

Tenets, luckily I don’t come to Deadspin expecting intelligent forumgoers.

Is Deadspin also ending operations next week?

These posts make me root for the Cardinals/give me cancer.