I think Sproles was trying to pull that trick where he never signals for a fair catch but its such a bad idea not to that the gunner just assumes he did, and pulls up/goes around and the returner gets a good return because the first guy there basically never tries to make a play.

At the same time, the defender gets…

I’ll be that asshole. Maybe you should call a fair catch?

THE SWAMP WAS ANGRY THAT DAY MY FRIENDS

Donald: Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blowhole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the…

“You know who else was ‘Man of the Year’?”
*Crowd Cheers*
“That’s right, a little man called Hitler!”
*Bass Slaps*
“I’m just sayin’, the trains ran on time, amirite?”
*Cheers*
*Double bass slap*
“But honestly, your children are going to die in a nuclear fire the likes of which you could never imagine. Just...The. Best.”
*Audi…

I don’t know what’s more embarrassing, being caught at a Jets game, or being caught at a Jets game.

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

Rivera was going to send an email to Adam Schefter announcing the punishment, but he couldn’t find his laptop.

Berry didn’t see Andy Reid frantically waving at him to take a knee so the offense could go out and punt

What sort of parent would let their kid go to Penn State? Being serious here. The insurance company is likely to bail on most of the payouts to victims, because the administrators knew what happened, and let it continue. Any payment the insurers don’t cover will be Penn State money, which means alumni contributions…

Uh if the PSU alumni and fan base would, for the most part, acknowledged that Joe Paterno was a horrible human being and stop denying he was innocent and what he was a part of should never be excused just because he was good at winning football games, I might be inclined to agree with you.

Didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

Fuck Gus Johnson, fuck Penn State, fuck Joe Paterno, and fuck Donald Trump (just because).

I’d bring it up because a child-rape coverup scandal is not exactly the kind of thing that should go away with a few hundred snaps of a football.

Gronk no can catch pass? Gronk no can dance ate week? Gronk no can sex girl? Gronk sad.

Good point about the Mets. It would be great for Oakland if they had some sort of Sandy Alderson-esque GM, a protege or acolyte, and they could institute a smart management system. Call it, I don’t know, Sandyball.

Did Ohio vote red? They did? Fuck them. Let the fucking owner bleed them dry.