WHY NO STARS

Few things make me more murderous than  the person who isn’t actually pregnant saying that.

I was so confused for a moment, because I always thought it was Dakota Fanning he was dating. I was like, a love triangle with TWO Dakotas!? What are the odds!

No.  This is all so terrible. I blanched because this actor- MONSOON WEDDING SPOILER:

Have you ever had Hot Dr. Pepper? It’s really good! I had it when I worked on something for the company and they put lemon wedges in it too:)

THANK YOU.

I want you to know I choked on an apple cider doughnut during “aging conservative rapper”. It was worth it.

Yale is the four year version of Ricks College but it just happens to be in Connecticut. I thought everyone knew that?

I cannot stop laughing at your Mambo crack. You are out here doing the Lord’s work.

It doesn’t matter to me if they “got it” or not. WHO THE FUCK says that as a teacher to a student? A 14 year old? Do your fucking job. And that’s been part of their job since forever. I had a terrible english teacher when I was fourteen -she was verbally abusive and TERRIBLE and even SHE would have clued in. How dare…

If I could star this A MILLION TIMES. I would.

I believe you.

THE MOST HORRIFYINGLY PRESCIENT SCENE EVER. Why can’t we have the detective with the bandana and Sam Gerard leading the investigation?

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

I have NO idea how they do it, but I feel you on the raw cauliflower goodness. My takeaway- I should learn how to pickle cauliflower!!!

I love pickled cauliflower so darn much and i haven’t had it for years thank you for reminding me about it.  Your Grandmother!!! AMAZING.

Jian Ghomeshi punched a woman he was on first date with a closed fist in the head, over and over again.

This gif is perfection, now and always- but it was especially good today.

This is probably my most favorite thing you’ve ever written here.

All I could think of is the chapter in the Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan (SPOILER ALERT) where the Grandfather (Father?) that can’t speak due to a stroke trolls the the greedy abusive husband of his grandaughter to tear his own house down by pretending he can’t quite remember where he hid the (non-existent) gold coins…